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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (4816)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (8665)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48294) - you deserved it (4224)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57790) - you deserved it (3869)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18040) - you deserved it (45942)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50247) - you deserved it (4438)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50484) - you deserved it (4868)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (3880)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51413) - you deserved it (3849)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (6993)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

#20684843
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (16982)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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