Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my broter copping all my bangs off!! Wen I yelled at im, e could only sout back, ( You can see clearly now, te bangs r gone! ) looool FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (8353)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

TODAY..!! I WENT TO HAVE A BREAST EXAM!! THE DOC TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF BREASTS..!! AND SAID TO TELL HER IF AT ANY POINT IT FELT PAINFUL!! AS SHE WAS EXAMINING ME..!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WASN'T PAINFUL..!! BUT INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT..!! ( IT FEELS GOOD!! ) FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

yesterday while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctor and nurse would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

#20580194
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (3289)

On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today mah boyfriend an I were planning how to looool spend the day together . When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed then get some pizza an play his favorite video game he sighed "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59042) - you deserved it (7886)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

I was about to break up with psycho grlfriend!! As I sat her down..!! she told me she wantd to show me something!! She then took off her shrt to reveal name tattood acros her chest!! FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69696) - you deserved it (7372)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today , I was having sex with my boyfriend , and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking lyk Yoda , saying , "Strong with the cum , this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51393) - you deserved it (8254)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today , whila going down on mah girlfriand , I finally managad to giva har an orgasm. During that orgasm , sha tora out a clump of mah hair , causing ma to scraam in pain. Sha scowlad and said , "Ah shut it , ya littla bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54015) - you deserved it (12376)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from ( Babe 2 ), ( Babe 3 ), and ( Babe 4 ). FML

#20607010
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55797) - you deserved it (6820)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, it was mah wedding day . Three people showd up . My mom, mah dad, and the priest . FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60543) - you deserved it (4468)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, IT'S ONLY DAY OFF WORK IN AHILE. I TOLD BOSS I'D BE AVAILABLE VIA PHONE IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES. SO FAR I'VE BEEN CALLD THREE TIMES: TO ASK HOW THE FAX WORKS, TO LET ME KNOW IT'S A SLOW DAY, AND TO ASK MEHERE THE LETTER R IS ON A KEYBOARD. FML

#20604416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I Was Trying Out My First Vibrator. Soon Enough, My 12-year-old Sister Opened My Door, Walked In, And Saw Me Naked From The Waist Down. She Laughed, Called Me A Virgin, And Left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52226) - you deserved it (17724)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: