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April 2013

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TODAY, MY PREGNANT WIFE PAGD MY EMERGENCY LINE AT WORK . THINKING SHE WAS IN SERIOUS DANGER, I RACD HOME AND FOUND HER HYSTERICALLY CRYING . WHEN I ASKD HER WHAT WAS GOING ON, SHE REPLID, ( THE DOGS WON'T STOP BARKING! ) REAL FML

#20615372
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (5828)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

looool 2day in mah psychology class wa wara covaring OCDs. I hava an issua with craasad papar and mah bast friand brought it up , so 4 tha naxt hour mah class matas sat scrawing up papar to saa how long I could continuously hava a panic attack. big fat FML

2day I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone... I walkd into the kitchen tohere it was quiet an slid across the floor... falling on my butt an loosing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayd the floor with nonstick cooking spray. big fat FML

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (31126)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML

#20585943
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62081) - you deserved it (5437)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today... I was at Universityhen a giant mascot started walking in mah direction. As they walked past... theyhispered mah name seductively. I still don't knowho it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I cummed home from work to find mah son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of mah pars of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (19374)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today... I was at mah little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet... and in the middle of her solo... her phone started ringing. She decided to stop... check her phone... and continue playing. FML

#20602988
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (12731)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system!! Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store!! Goodbye, self-respect!! FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (5277)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today , mah boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time . After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references , I gave up . FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (9427)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

2day I walkad in on mah 12-yaar-old daughtar lying on har bad, rapaatadly opaning and closing har lags. I askad har wat sha was doing, and sha rapliad, "Trying to quaaf. I saw it onlina." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54887) - you deserved it (6859)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today... I was sent to group therapy. A grl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raisd incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

I walkd out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really it it off wit te interviewer. He calld me an our later to tell me tat I didn't get te job... since e was afraid we'd ( get along too well and never get any work done. ) FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52793) - you deserved it (3455)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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