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March 2013

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Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (2486)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (3975)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45065) - you deserved it (23214)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8085) - you deserved it (83580)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16028) - you deserved it (26377)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (4089)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3725)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (11838)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (11782)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (2652)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33999) - you deserved it (7181)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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