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Wednesday 16 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54308) - you deserved it (3814)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51572) - you deserved it (4221)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58643) - you deserved it (4379)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38590) - you deserved it (18928)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41990) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (4945)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (5005)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML



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