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Sunday 2 February 2014

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Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

by foops / 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

by tsukinoie / 02/02/2014 at 1:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally received the last check from my insurance company after my house flooded 10 months ago. Tonight my house flooded again. FML

by itwasalongnight / 02/02/2014 at 6:32am / Love