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Saturday 1 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (4136)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (3753)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (12712)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42309) - you deserved it (6043)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML

#21047385
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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