Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (7729)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44318) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50612) - you deserved it (6400)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (4949)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39771) - you deserved it (8319)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (4770)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: