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Sunday 5 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44857) - you deserved it (11663)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (7406)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (31456)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

#21017461
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50026) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (6101)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

#21017924
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (3296)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43479) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38504) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42429) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38114) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (5952)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)



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