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Tuesday 3 December 2013

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Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

by DocShadow / 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

by phonegotlostinthepark / 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

by reallyhighschool / 12/03/2013 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

by Kyle / 12/03/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

by supras / 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

by nemesis5196523 / 12/03/2013 at 2:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 9:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

by wheezy / 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

by helpme / 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work