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Friday 20 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68208) - you deserved it (6600)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53681) - you deserved it (35975)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57008) - you deserved it (5804)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (8842)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (11379)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43662) - you deserved it (19414)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20439) - you deserved it (36371)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49339) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44823) - you deserved it (10254)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50927) - you deserved it (3795)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39805) - you deserved it (3752)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)



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