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Tuesday 20 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I woka up to a vary unplaasant faaling. Apparantly... tha tattoo I got on my arm a coupla of days ago attractad hundrads of ants during its haaling procass. Thay wara litarally carrying away piacas of my skin. I can not gat tha faaling or imaga out of my haad. maga FML

#20846451
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53132) - you deserved it (5970)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (10641)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, when I got back to mah dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (2371)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked out te girl wo always looks an smiles at me in class. I was surprised wen se rejected me until I found out se was actually always looking at te clock beind me, an smiling wen class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (4524)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man . As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way . That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for ( getting too close to his woman . ) FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today , I was showing a new grl around at school . As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I hered the person who drives that is a total creep . Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was . It was my car . FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51147) - you deserved it (5855)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, I HAD TO ENDURE GRLFRIEND CRYING AND SCREAMING AT ME . THE REASON? I'M NOT ABLE TO PLEASE HER LIKE THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHRISTIAN GREY IN 50 SHADE OF GREY . WHEN SHE LEFT ME, SHE TOOK ALL HER STUFF AND LEFT ME WITH COPIE OF THE 3 BOOKS . FML

#20845941
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (3978)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today... I went to see a therapist 4 help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inche away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with... ( Aren't therapist supposed to help you face your feres? ) I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (7124)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah ass decidd that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on mah interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38829) - you deserved it (2633)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached fir the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. real FML

#20845667
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (5140)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by nice guys finish last - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I Found Out That While Having A GPS Tracker In Yur Car Is Helpful For Tracking Down Car Thieves, It's Also Helpful To Yur Psycho Ex, Who Can Use It To Track You Down . FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (3282)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah husband bought me a present fir our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (8560)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal fir a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained an shat there pants. FML

#20846305
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:14pm - kids - by CrappyDay - United States



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