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Tuesday 13 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51435) - you deserved it (18300)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (4026) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50990) - you deserved it (5199)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, while at a concert, my boyfriend got mad and jealous because I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51852) - you deserved it (6457)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49798) - you deserved it (4039)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47337) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (3160)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

#20835654
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (4052)

On 08/13/2013 at 4:19pm - love - by Zanovitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (4802)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

#20835323
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42617) - you deserved it (6356)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by cookiemonster (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (4864)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom



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