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Sunday 21 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (8728)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56530) - you deserved it (4028)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45695) - you deserved it (7638)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (49656)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45580) - you deserved it (2950)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (3247)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

#20796093
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you deserved it (3227)

On 07/21/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35792) - you deserved it (5028)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (3501)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. They were having signings, but only the first one hundred could get one. When I finally got to the desk, they said I was number hundred and one, and to get lost. FML

#20795083
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49074) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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