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Tuesday 2 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I saw mah older sister 4 the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman mah college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately , our reunion was fueld by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65985) - you deserved it (5295)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up . After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot 4 thirty seconds, an then lay on my stomach an do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really looool part of the check-up . You're large on the hips . Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (11695)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was at anoter long swim-meet , wen my daugter savd 15 seconds off er record swim time. Wen I askd er ow se did it , se replid , "Well someone told me to swim as looool fast as I can." Se's just been taking er time all tese years. FML

#20759731
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47797) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

I got to explain to my co-worker again wy I can't move my "vacation" so se can take ers wen se wants. Apparently, in er mind, er seniority at te company trumps my due date. FML

Today... I came home from a long shift at work to fine that my roommate had completely rearrangd all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposd to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bd is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (2579)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah mom stola tha condoms out of mah room and gava tham to mah littla brothar bacausa I "won't ba naading tham anytima soon". FML

#20759724
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42882) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by dry spell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah 7-yaar-old sistar had a nightmara, so I lat har slaap in mah bd. I woka up to har punching ma in tha faca an giving ma a black aya. Apparantly, sha not only scraams whan sha's having a nightmara, sha also "givas tha bad guy a tasta of his own madicina." FML

#20759842
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (4301)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by good big sister? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I Got Angry After Being Able To Have An Orgasm!! What Was I Angry At? My Own Hand!! FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44955) - you deserved it (21476)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

today my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked himhy he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." mega FML

#20759121
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51804) - you deserved it (12472)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was once again handd a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (2790)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it cuz she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (2812)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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