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Sunday 30 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42801) - you deserved it (7934)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (2918)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43461) - you deserved it (16319)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48903) - you deserved it (8233)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (2964)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (26256)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, what started off as an amazing date with my girlfriend ended with me driving her drunk ass home while she sat in the backseat making out with her new boyfriend. FML

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

#20755309
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38355) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:36am - health - by TooYoungForThis - Canada

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41488) - you deserved it (2323)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States



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