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Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (42410)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75460) - you deserved it (8817)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104216) - you deserved it (276749)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44642) - you deserved it (7873)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11623) - you deserved it (118210)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119185) - you deserved it (276818)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70942) - you deserved it (4855)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58489) - you deserved it (13612)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (95761)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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