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Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81159) - you deserved it (6650)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
542 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224722) - you deserved it (24668)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15460) - you deserved it (39160)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
536 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (56381)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (19599)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
531 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251275) - you deserved it (32440)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (53967)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13423) - you deserved it (165867)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
529 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (69374)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122115) - you deserved it (281537)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (138923)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



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