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Today, mah boyfriend went an bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 an renewed his WoW subscription . Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two . FML

#18273262
601 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (11620)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went from a party where both of mah girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends an a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
501 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (218178)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is fir kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I putted the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
565 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (17345)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47450) - you deserved it (37016)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear an smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there 4 at least 30 seconds in shock, anhen I backed away he was still looking at them. big fat FML

Today.!! !! after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores.!! !! I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans !! Her reaction was to squeal.!! !! "Master has presentd Dobby with clothes !! Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
585 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14189) - you deserved it (56167) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

today mah girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60064) - you deserved it (4791)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Yesterday , after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to place. Halfway there she turns and says , "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94593) - you deserved it (8629)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I begged mah husband to take me to the ER cause mah stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for mah appendix to burst. I almost died because mah husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52427) - you deserved it (3770)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, 5 year old nephew showed me green martian he'd made with his new Play Doh set . I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241567) - you deserved it (82259)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND WOKE UP WHEEZING TERRIBLY, ACHING, AN SNEEZING. HE'S ALLERGIC TO CATS. I HAVE 2 AN THEY R MY BABIES. HE GAVE ME AN ULTIMATUM, HIM OR THE CATS. I HAVEN'T FIGURD OUT HOW I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT I CHOOSE THE CATS.

#11892706
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19875) - you deserved it (61585)

On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States



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