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Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (7911)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (2358)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother told me: "If you didn't exist, I wouldn't stay with your father". So it's MY fault if she's having problems with him? FML

#961
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (2206)

On 01/11/2009 at 10:22am - love - by Yubi - Belgium (Hainaut)

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32362) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (4117)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

#6517
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (51785)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#13743
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29899) - you deserved it (4142)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm - misc - by ChoirGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

#29521
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (33692)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Mal2222 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43468) - you deserved it (11069)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

#868262
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57735) - you deserved it (14536)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" In a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

#1769804
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (49544)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:08am - animals - by Christine (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (82202)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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