Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (9746)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (12423)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47187) - you deserved it (3707)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (53341)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72426) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. 5 hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML

#256549
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67416) - you deserved it (2298)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:35pm - work - by Jong (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML

#783282
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59849) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by littleone37 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

#829744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51277) - you deserved it (4734)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by halebop (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

#1283433
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (45795)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by raerae (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my serious boyfriend was talking about how he wants to get engaged and married. I was really happy until he said he's excited mainly for the tax benefits. FML

#1493451
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (3866)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (9062)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: