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Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

by jealousgirl / 07/16/2015 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was doing my first shift waitressing in a café. Not an hour in, I'd already spilt tea over somebody and dropped two whole meals. Looks like this won't last much longer. FML

by failingyetagain / 07/20/2015 at 6:17pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Work

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

by oh great / 08/09/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Money

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

by killjoyx / 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 7:28am / United States / Love

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

by fridgemylifee / 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm / United States / Love

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 8:37am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML

by WhyM3Th0ugh / 09/10/2015 at 7:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

by Waterer / 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 9:29am / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

by anon / 09/25/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Florida) / Love