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Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (1658)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (1234)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (1928)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (2058)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (2137)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (8209)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (12419)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37883) - you deserved it (2491)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34760) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

#20558428
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38439) - you deserved it (5104)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (2592)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)



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