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Today, I was told that I need to learn to "let things go" by a woman who held a four-month grudge over a ham sandwich. FML

by NoHamForMeThanks / 03/08/2015 at 10:36pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

by MyPrecious... / 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

by BrokeAndSad / 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 1:20pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

by post it / 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

by tobuscus9412 / 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

by poop / 03/21/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

by big_bail / 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

by TabbyCat87 / 04/09/2015 at 3:57pm / United States (Colorado) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

by justin bieber's nutsack / 06/06/2015 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

by simple living / 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

by Martine624 / 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

by pasha / 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous