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Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (4944)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, I received a response to my perfectly straightforward online dating profile: "How about changing a dirty diaper, mommy?" FML

#21067330
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/21/2014 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sadlysingle (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (3399)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

#21122928
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35652) - you deserved it (9053)

On 04/25/2014 at 6:59pm - misc - by firelava (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (4878)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was complimented on my freckles. I don't actually have freckles, just a load of blackheads that won't go away. FML

#21322767
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (3172)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:41pm - health - by eamiller (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

#21191583
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (3451)

On 06/28/2014 at 3:09pm - work - by a fat fucking shit and proud of it (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

#21296003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33164) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:10am - work - by Pixel (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

#21292702
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (3000)

On 11/05/2014 at 1:49pm - love - by aspiemeanswell (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I had to run for the train, but because of my bad foot and limping they held the train, much to people's displeasure. No one let me sit down, so for the 20 minute journey, I stood. With a bad foot. FML

#21346090
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (3595)

On 01/29/2015 at 7:56am - work - by vampyrate3562 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (2409)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)



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