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Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63453) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

#20875436
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47486) - you deserved it (3466)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML

#20897147
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (5586)

On 09/26/2013 at 6:56pm - kids - by NoBikesForYou (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

#20905054
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39428) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Couch Potato - United States (California)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (4701)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (3007)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41765) - you deserved it (3750)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49815) - you deserved it (3946)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

#21040578
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (4784)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Ceredigion)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44570) - you deserved it (7852)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (4488)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (8469)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)



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