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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21430) - you deserved it (10692)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after an argument with a coworker, I sent him "Sorry about being such a jerk" in a reply to a mass email he had sent. I accidentally hit 'Reply All'. I now have 32 "It's okay" messages in my inbox. FML

#14274889
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8641) - you deserved it (27282)

On 12/20/2010 at 5:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

#14013959
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (5153)

On 11/28/2010 at 6:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (3322)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (4764)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

#14468099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11452) - you deserved it (29866)

On 01/04/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by theatreluver (woman) - United States

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

#15147036
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (2235)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:43am - work - by jack -

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I take a few swigs and notice a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I feel something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

#15689448
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (5625)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (7061) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML

#14947981
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10845) - you deserved it (27602)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:01am - misc - by notsolucky (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell going down the stairs and hit my head on the wall. My parents came frantically running to my side, but only to make sure I hadn't damaged the wall. FML

#19761942
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (1985)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Lily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

#16291587
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (5032)

On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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