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Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

#21350906
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm - health - by alostr1 - United States

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (6243)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2642)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2469)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2968)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (2253)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

#492
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17786) - you deserved it (6769)

On 12/11/2008 at 5:40am - misc - by Pfff - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19356) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6828) - you deserved it (23911)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8595) - you deserved it (33679)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

#17532
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you deserved it (4144)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by alie (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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