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Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

by oh great / 08/09/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Doncaster) / Money

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

by sstahpp / 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in for an interview for my first ever job. Just seconds after meeting the boss, I slipped on the linoleum floor. I was wearing a skirt. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 12:58pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2015 at 1:10am / Work

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

by OutOfWork.OutOfTime / 10/27/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

by MG73 / 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (Maine) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 1:42am / France (Corse) / Intimacy

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

by sprained neck / 11/24/2015 at 12:49am / Health

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 8:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

by clumsy / 11/26/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

by sothatsano / 12/16/2015 at 3:56am / United States (Washington) / Love