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Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61167) - you deserved it (3601)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

#1507
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (6583)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by Allenburg - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (9717)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29949) - you deserved it (5476)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49578) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

#22681
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36521) - you deserved it (5816)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by thunder thighs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

#89031
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (5755)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10048) - you deserved it (52550)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56498) - you deserved it (6388)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64978) - you deserved it (13683)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to reccommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking; I got food poisoning from my own place of work. FML

#914179
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50026) - you deserved it (3101)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12pm - work - by newhostess (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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