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Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

#30969
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (1749)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

#125182
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34078) - you deserved it (3923)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:00pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

#830447
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9924) - you deserved it (43086)

On 04/06/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by rmo1776 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10073) - you deserved it (17965)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (1775)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (22082)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

#6283712
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (1719)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by butch - United States (Washington)

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

#6542379
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (1981)

On 11/30/2009 at 10:22pm - money - by cande (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I were using our skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML

#6806655
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5216) - you deserved it (12918)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:25am - intimacy - by Jssceli09 (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

#6931953
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (2168)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12916) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version



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