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Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (2648)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML

#14485086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (5878)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (10815)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

#14847206
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (23737)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (5345)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (31509)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8964) - you deserved it (29988)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

#16019249
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (3970)

On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

#16176311
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (25758)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm - misc - by ihatelife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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