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Today , I was at the mall shopliftinghen a girlho lookd mah age pointd to a shirt I had in mah bag. "Stole that , huh?" she askd smiling. She lookd pretty cool , so I noddd and askd if she stole the jeans she was wearing,hich were from the store. Turns out she didn't , she's the manager. FML

#843065
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (497219)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I ad ma ig scool reunion. Te nerdy guy tat I picked on all 4 years ad married a Swedis supermodel... ten divorced er 4 a Brazilian supermodel. My grlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
649 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (281081)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at the arport, mah mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war!! The soldier at the vending machine near us caught mah eye!! I mouthd, "Sorry" and he mouthd, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86913) - you deserved it (19896)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waitd at the restaurant 4 an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyd his car. Then I realizd the date was 4 tomorrow. FML

#2597926
623 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (137961)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Taday I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty there piss-pipes and poop-chutes . He does this twice a day . I putted a "cut it out" sign up . His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down . My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines . FML

Today I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet!! FML

#16879912
556 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68494) - you deserved it (7154)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:56am - intimacy - by footfood (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Yesterday,hile working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work an annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in aheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (243981)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents . My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex . It wasn't her . Thanks dad . FML

#17709124
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (246324)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah husband and I were talking about names 4 our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028
653 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51747) - you deserved it (30014)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, mah boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity!! After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up!!

#19249528
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (54744)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today... Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV... beating out Inception... Toy Story looool 3... Harry Potter... etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
577 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97328) - you deserved it (10763)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)



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