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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

#780
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you deserved it (24784)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12024) - you deserved it (22563)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (5129)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (5896)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9987) - you deserved it (52379)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

#233704
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (35820)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

#323384
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70976) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

#636351
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (6831)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Lena (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML

#868262
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53898) - you deserved it (13617)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, I heard an electric saw cutting through something outside my condo. I presumed it was a complex maintenance guy working on something. It was a thief using an angle grinder to cut off my bicycle's U-lock. FML

#991872
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53323) - you deserved it (5445)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

#797554
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57912) - you deserved it (12834)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

#5618437
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16670) - you deserved it (3492)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stayed after hours studying in the medical library. I was the only one left, and as I was going out the glass doors leaving, I saw a person's reflection behind me. I screamed, jumped, fell into the doors smashing my head. I'd seen the reflection of a medical demonstration dummy. FML

#3228073
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (10846)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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