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Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48990) - you deserved it (14334)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (3394)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51761) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

#20696470
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49280) - you deserved it (7203)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43817) - you deserved it (6877)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (3275)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (3523)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, it's been three weeks since I moved to Germany with my own money, after my company's offices in Spain shut down. I was given a job at the headquarters here, only to have just found out that the whole company is now set to go into liquidation. FML

#20768805
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/07/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48318) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50214) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

#20893338
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42331) - you deserved it (2725)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by theynamedmeluke (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53479) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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