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Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

#20527319
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36978) - you deserved it (2896)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

#20640271
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (30637)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

#21069691
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (3221)

On 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by ninaaaa - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML

#326
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (7632)

On 11/18/2008 at 2:36am - love - by Otherguy - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

#343
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (14071)

On 11/19/2008 at 6:33am - love - by Mazzam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

#453
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17974) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/05/2008 at 7:49am - work - by Macdaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

#538
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11057) - you deserved it (19311)

On 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm - misc - by kisyfrot - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trapped for 40 minutes in LA traffic after a car overturned and all 5 lanes of the 101 S freeway were closed. When the traffic finally began to move my car wouldn't start since I'd left the headlights on too long and was listening to the radio! And I was in the middle lane of the freeway. FML

#951
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14266) - you deserved it (7606)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:58pm - work - by bubba gump - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

#984
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18174) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:55am - money - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

#1220
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13011) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)



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