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Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (8573)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (6164)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (11831)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15821) - you deserved it (66264)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53645) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50891) - you deserved it (12541)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up excited for my trip to Jamaica with my friends. We went to the airport, and I gave them my passport to check in. They gave it back. It had expired three weeks ago. I watched my friends board the plane while I'm stuck in the city. FML

#5617258
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13812) - you deserved it (46372)

On 10/03/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by hahahaha91 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

#5539236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (3506)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (5387)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML

#14994947
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (2516)

On 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm - misc - by K (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had two minutes to get to the bus stop which usually takes me eight minutes. I had to catch that bus to be at work at the hospital in time. I was in such a hurry, I didn't have the time to tie my shoe laces. I ran with untied shoe laces. I did end up in the hospital. FML

#4108973
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (13562)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)



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