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Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

by I get the hint / 09/18/2013 at 2:19am / Health

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

by lola1313 / 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

by KamiyaHaine / 10/02/2013 at 1:54am / Singapore / Love

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm / United States / Work

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

by single / 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

by s13495 / 10/24/2013 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Work

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

by Annonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

by cb / 11/25/2013 at 1:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous