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Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2135)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (2025)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (2127)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14690) - you deserved it (20155)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML

#21367992
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (2786)

On 03/04/2015 at 1:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my three-year-old nephew chose to jump out of a window and break his arm rather than be babysat by me. FML

#21401920
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (3738)

On 04/29/2015 at 6:44pm - kids - by Winxy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother came to visit and asked me, "Did you change your hair, or are you just fatter now?" FML

#21406084
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (2560)

On 05/07/2015 at 7:01am - misc - by Chubby (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (2779)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27697) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (1785)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (2674)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)



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