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Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (5321)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

#20531281
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (2361)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (3437)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

#20534501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10957) - you deserved it (33140)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:44am - work - by coffee - United States

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

#20562807
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13195) - you deserved it (31215)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by anon - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you deserved it (8356)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (5739)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

#20658557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (3852)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (5965)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (6268)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46250) - you deserved it (3080)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

#20771134
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (2503)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm - work - by NathanA - United States (California)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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