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Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (3503)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35108) - you deserved it (10288)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

#21149559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (3222)

On 05/23/2014 at 8:09pm - misc - by ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

#21236314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (3717)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (4316)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML

#21231280
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by spitstopper - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27361) - you deserved it (34200)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31473) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

#21281210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (8094)

On 10/19/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (9678)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States



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