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Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

#16745803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2877)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:51pm - misc - by sabadaba - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (1894)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML

#17752355
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (25804)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (35137)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

#21418531
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Sleepy (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (11477)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

#18286848
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (2282)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - work - by arthur (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (149634)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30124) - you deserved it (2537)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

#19397003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (1744)

On 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm - money - by unfriendlyskies (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (1750)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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