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Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (37657)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (14096)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13833) - you deserved it (25095)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, one of my 6 year old students who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said "Your arms are hairy." FML

#14063291
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (4174)

On 12/02/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (2438)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (25665)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (24299)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (8703)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

#13512572
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (2702)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:15pm - money - by moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

#8930944
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (4734)

On 03/08/2010 at 9:24pm - money - by yessssir - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (28722)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

#13873380
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8609) - you deserved it (31727)

On 11/17/2010 at 2:34am - work - by workaholic -



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