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Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

#15172476
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (9447)

On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

#14538668
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (4052)

On 01/10/2011 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

#15259296
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (4610)

On 03/10/2011 at 2:53am - misc - by jules - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

#14528961
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (6644)

On 01/10/2011 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

#14585832
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (7323)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:38am - love - by hollysofly - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

#14847206
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10044) - you deserved it (23710)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)

Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML

#14794678
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (3444)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:05am - intimacy - by LonelyBoy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15256) - you deserved it (30774)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#19133346
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7656) - you deserved it (18426)

On 02/21/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by me (man) - United States

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

#15674369
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39361) - you deserved it (3861)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:17am - health - by ouchiee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (4983)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

#17544670
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8691) - you deserved it (37585)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States



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