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Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31718) - you deserved it (2794)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (9232)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (2888)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

#7031630
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (27435)

On 12/30/2009 at 6:30am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (6856)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

#7324438
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (19371)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2688)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (3719)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

#7962696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (2528)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22793) - you deserved it (2510)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (22600)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (7490)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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