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Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

by thanks sis / 10/21/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

by wellshitthen / 10/21/2015 at 3:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 1:15am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

by AlwaysTired / 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

by pincushion / 12/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

by anon / 12/17/2015 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous