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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3712)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40237) - you deserved it (6479)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30456) - you deserved it (2585)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

#21230314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (2753)

On 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm - work - by cutthroatkait (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47970) - you deserved it (4050)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (9178)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

#21255032
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (3337)

On 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35074) - you deserved it (7640)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (2927)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

#21253844
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (2443)

On 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm - work - by teacher (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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