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Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML

#2397904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39016) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21418) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

#5705079
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (11600)

On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was going at a big concert in my university. I paid around a hundred-twenty bucks for my ticket. Outside the venue, people were handing out the tickets. For free. FML

#5457566
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29385) - you deserved it (12090)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by akosirm (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I received an email from a temp agency trying to hire me. Surprisingly, it was the same job I was just laid off from after two years of great employment. They were trying to hire me at half my original salary. FML

#2792784
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49777) - you deserved it (2271)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:21am - work - by surfernerd6987 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37947) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53972) - you deserved it (6789)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

#241077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60684) - you deserved it (2747)

On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

#459732
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83704) - you deserved it (9591)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55507) - you deserved it (5273)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13068) - you deserved it (70806)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML



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