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Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (5517)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (7212)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (8997)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (2360)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (6002)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

#7121915
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (2033)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18298) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (3021)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8325) - you deserved it (15395)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (9510)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

#8396917
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (1691)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by ApparentlyEmo (woman) - United States (New York)



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