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Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43625) - you deserved it (2878)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (20447)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46388) - you deserved it (3841)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40653) - you deserved it (2403)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (9701)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44530) - you deserved it (3532)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (6651)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49552) - you deserved it (3182)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46994) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (2405)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (11043)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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