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Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML

#19374122
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (4816)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by Anon (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (7885)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

#17402357
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22216) - you deserved it (2615)

On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (3496)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (9785)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

#19245415
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (2096)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10985) - you deserved it (36884)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9531) - you deserved it (24456)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

#18279451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/18/2011 at 5:49am - misc - by Etyl (woman) - Indonesia (Jawa Tengah)

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10595) - you deserved it (24104)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

#19144680
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/23/2012 at 7:11am - work - by photofaint - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML

#19420745
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14254) - you deserved it (20658)

On 04/06/2012 at 11:41pm - love - by Amber C - United States



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