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Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

by comfort_ / 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at an important statewide band performance, my mom stayed in her seat, silent, while everyone else gave a standing ovation. FML

by jesterinperil / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

by ouch / 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

by JustSom / 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2015 at 4:50pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

by wellfuck / 05/02/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

by WolfAvenge / 05/21/2015 at 4:01am / United States (Arizona) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 9:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

by xolaurennnn / 05/22/2015 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

by kmctl / 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 1:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work