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Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (1941)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24335) - you deserved it (4816)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

#523
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8624) - you deserved it (31263)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (5084)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (5878)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (5338)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (29466)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7262) - you deserved it (37068)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71603) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

#190335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43396) - you deserved it (6900)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)



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