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Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (27560)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52705) - you deserved it (1889)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

#30954
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41218) - you deserved it (3658)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8591) - you deserved it (34697)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my mom about who I wanted to ask to prom. I told her the names of the girls I was thinking of asking and she replied, "They'll say no, but you can always go with one of your cousins." FML

#252783
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56566) - you deserved it (2702)

On 03/09/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by Tony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML

#653813
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (4654)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - misc - by Anonymity (man) - Canada

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

#878620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46161) - you deserved it (3567)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML

#1183165
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (4602)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

#2697154
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (11816)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by no - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized it's been 5 days since my boyfriend last answered the phone when I called. Two weeks ago, he told me he used to break up with his girlfriends in a very juvenile way. He doesn't answer their phone calls. FML

#6332
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27432) - you deserved it (2368)

On 02/03/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ginger (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

#29771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23217) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10583) - you deserved it (23253)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

#158750
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8522) - you deserved it (50303)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)



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