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Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (1958)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my clinical instructor told me to stop being so negative, to get over myself, and to focus on nursing school. I'm only distracted because 3 days ago I was told I might have colon cancer. FML

#21476796
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (1358)

On 10/06/2015 at 11:29am - health - by edavis1993 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML

#21478538
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (4338)

On 10/11/2015 at 8:31am - misc - by MeaganElizabethM (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

#21472645
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (1636)

On 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by itwaswarm - United States (New York)

Today, despite having my 5-day-leave approved 2 months ago, my boss demanded I return to work in the middle of it. Why? She wants to go on a vacation and no one else is available at such short notice. FML

#21489333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22849) - you deserved it (1467)

On 11/06/2015 at 6:59pm - work - by FMyJob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML

#21496628
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (2200)

On 11/25/2015 at 10:50am - kids - by ashamed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

#21506874
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (2513)

On 12/23/2015 at 12:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML

#21520098
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (1223)

On 01/27/2016 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20211) - you deserved it (1716)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

#21523204
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (1392)

On 02/05/2016 at 9:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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