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TODAY, I WAS SHOPPING FOR A NEW DEODORANT, AND THIS GUY WAS STANDING IN THE WAY . HE WOULDN'T MOVE, SO I CROUCHED DOWN TO GET THE ONE I WANTED, RIGHT WHEN HE DID THE MOST VIOLENT FART RIGHT IN MAH FACE . THEN HIS WIFE CAME OVER, MADE A FACE AND HE WHISPERED, "I THINK THAT GIRL JUST FARTED" . FML
today my parents accused me of bieng secretive. I ave no ideaat tier talking about; all I do is work, go to scool, sleep, an eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell temat's going on. I ave crazy parents, tat'sat's going on. FML
Today I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - about complicatd romantic situation pileup of work or even relationship with father. No I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML
Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML
2day I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so fir a laugh, I got up and quietly pennid the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decidd to let him out. Turnd out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad.
Today, I draggd mah grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak 4 New Year's day . I left mah spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrappd steak on the grill . I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough 4 mah cat to open the wrapper and run off with mah steak in his jaws . FML
YESTERDAY I WAS TALKING TO MAH BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER AFTER WE DRUNKENLY HOOKED UP LAST NIGHT . I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM FOR OVER A YEAR . HE ENDED UP INTERRUPTING HIMSELF AND SAID, "PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS . I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK WE'RE DATING OR ANYTHING."
Friday 27 March 2015