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Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

#4297641
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (11807)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

#4756705
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39434) - you deserved it (3388)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (5142)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

#5205091
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32473) - you deserved it (4452)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

#4095368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40798) - you deserved it (2210)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:11am - health - by swaiteATC (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (4377)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

#5903706
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (31918)

On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (6962)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (4648)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my mom called my boss informing him that I am a little behind on some college projects. She felt he should know that she fears I might not be able to graduate on the planned date. My boss had already offered me a permanent job. I may not get that job now. FML

#6287730
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:13pm - work - by fuckedup (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (3399)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (5938)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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