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TODAY, I WAS SHOPPING FOR A NEW DEODORANT, AND THIS GUY WAS STANDING IN THE WAY . HE WOULDN'T MOVE, SO I CROUCHED DOWN TO GET THE ONE I WANTED, RIGHT WHEN HE DID THE MOST VIOLENT FART RIGHT IN MAH FACE . THEN HIS WIFE CAME OVER, MADE A FACE AND HE WHISPERED, "I THINK THAT GIRL JUST FARTED" . FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

yastarday I managad to punch a customar's child as ha walkad around tha cornar just as I anthusiastically pointad his mothar in tha diraction of wat sha was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (3851)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

today my parents accused me of bieng secretive. I ave no ideaat tier talking about; all I do is work, go to scool, sleep, an eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell temat's going on. I ave crazy parents, tat'sat's going on. FML

#21242846
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (2725)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - about complicatd romantic situation pileup of work or even relationship with father. No I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23385) - you deserved it (4175)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today... I got drug testd for the looool second time this week. It's Tuesday. real FML

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, the power went out at school. As a senior, I don't show up until third period. When I got there, I signed in as usual. The office secretary waited until I signed in to tell me that if I hadn't, I wouldn't have to attend classes that day. Now I have to sit in class doing nothing. FML

#21315594
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by KCHS - United States

Today, I was t-boned and mah truck was rendered useless. I was given a ticket even though the manho hit me ran a red light. Why? Because there was dirt on mah license plate. FML

#21322311
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31447) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:22pm - misc - by killerxdeagles - United States (Kansas)

Yesterday , I discoverd that the reason the phone I've had 4 a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens . FML

Today, while fasting fir a medical test, mah blood sugar became so low that I had heret palpitations and passd out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (2407)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so fir a laugh, I got up and quietly pennid the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decidd to let him out. Turnd out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad.

Today, I draggd mah grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak 4 New Year's day . I left mah spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrappd steak on the grill . I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough 4 mah cat to open the wrapper and run off with mah steak in his jaws . FML

#21328958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (6265)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

YESTERDAY I WAS TALKING TO MAH BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER AFTER WE DRUNKENLY HOOKED UP LAST NIGHT . I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON HIM FOR OVER A YEAR . HE ENDED UP INTERRUPTING HIMSELF AND SAID, "PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS . I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK WE'RE DATING OR ANYTHING."

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (4907)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)



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