Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41258) - you deserved it (4695)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (9632)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (15010)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

#21084165
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38147) - you deserved it (9491)

On 03/11/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by shonfyr (man) - Spain

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (3872)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (4536)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, my landlord's control issue got out of control when I got a call telling me I have "too much stuff" and have to move out of the apartment. I sold all my furniture when I moved in and all I currently own is a scratch post, a chair and a pair of curtains. FML

#21145421
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41032) - you deserved it (3868)

On 05/19/2014 at 5:44pm - money - by that makes me a sad panda (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46035) - you deserved it (6052)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

#21148062
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35189) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/22/2014 at 1:51am - misc - by ForgottenSarahMarshall (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (5759)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40921) - you deserved it (4438)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: