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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (4133)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10886) - you deserved it (23814)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

#7493708
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (5355)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by jazz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7591) - you deserved it (37059)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10744) - you deserved it (16626)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21679) - you deserved it (4202)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8563) - you deserved it (24307)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

#13843946
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5508) - you deserved it (43054)

On 11/14/2010 at 7:23pm - money - by ellebelle (woman) - United States

Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would have run that one over." Thanks. FML

#8580880
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by thetallone (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (12724)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my custom printed Christmas cards that I reviewed twice before ordering, came in the mail. This year I will be wishing everyone a "wondeful" holiday season. I'm an elementary school teacher. FML

#14126790
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (22662)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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