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Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

by pincushion / 12/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I confided in my best friend about my recent weight loss, and how it was due to lack of appetite because of my horrible depression and anxiety. She congratulated me. FML

by lolhailsatan / 01/19/2016 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML

by AccidentalFlasher / 01/07/2016 at 9:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

by anon / 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fractured two ribs from coughing. My doctor told me to stop coughing, or I would fracture them more. I have bronchitis. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2016 at 7:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

by bxilee / 02/27/2016 at 9:48pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying 2 minutes of my life. FML

by Xandriajoy10 / 03/08/2016 at 6:56am / Australia / Animals

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML

by DeathbyWording / 04/29/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was called a bitch and "freaky as hell" because I don't like watermelon. I'm sorry, but just because I'm black doesn't mean I like watermelon. FML

by No thanks / 05/19/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son forgot to log out of MSN. He had written, "When am I getting out of this place?" and his username was "mother fucker". FML

by syle / 11/13/2008 at 1:51am / Kids