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Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML

#18181534
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/07/2011 at 1:49am - work - by Courtney - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (3707)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

#15464709
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (2420)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by Renter - United States

Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML

#19424189
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5793) - you deserved it (23086)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm - misc - by strokingitasitype (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you deserved it (2943)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

#19214388
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (3701)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm - health - by breebree-0 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

#19952787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (1677)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:06am - health - by tm - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

#20056910
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (3817)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (26172)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

#20026393
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (1861)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (1556)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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