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Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (2227)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

#5933276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (8980)

On 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by Lovelysister (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

#6379842
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11726) - you deserved it (33461)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

#6300869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (2589)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

#6267510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:09am - love - by Kittykatkrunch (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (2158)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after reading a very emotional article about always letting your loved ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom and told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything. Her reply? "Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen". FML

#6546127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (4034)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by ilovemom (woman) - Costa Rica (Heredia)

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (5507)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (7205)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (3856)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

#6857935
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (2770)

On 12/21/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by goblue (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a $105 parking ticket for being in a handicapped space. The lines were covered by snow, and the sign was on the building twenty feet away. FML

#7029804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/30/2009 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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