Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4038) - you deserved it (35293)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after sleeping in, I finally sorted through a stack of mail I had been putting off and I found a Jury summons. Thinking it must be coming up soon, I checked the date, my appearance is scheduled for 7:45am on November 16th. Today is November 17th. FML

#6337405
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (33116)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by Nic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2206)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (8705)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (4724)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (8510)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8527) - you deserved it (22542)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

#6694973
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13167) - you deserved it (5209)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

#6930680
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (4503)

On 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by RoxMySox - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

#6914800
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:02am - love - by stupid_world (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16588) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

#7192878
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7389) - you deserved it (11441)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

#7589871
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (7332)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: