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Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28598) - you deserved it (2295)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (9266)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (11474)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

#17735625
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (3579)

On 09/13/2011 at 10:48am - health - by .. - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (7425)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (25198)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (28230)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (1504)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (1827)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (1495)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

#20166242
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21953) - you deserved it (2730)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by sarahhbear - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

#20177683
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7091) - you deserved it (26474)

On 11/25/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Jocelyn - Canada (Alberta)



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