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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

#376
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (3105)

On 11/23/2008 at 5:59am - misc - by rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11997) - you deserved it (29424)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

#636
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7000) - you deserved it (14934)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:00pm - misc - by MikeMoosey - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (4606)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (8830)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15635) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19056) - you deserved it (1830)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (7370)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (1996)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (1617)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18050) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (4324)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (36398)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)



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