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Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

#19637913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (1910)

On 05/17/2012 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

#17380808
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/05/2011 at 7:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

#18085773
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (3646)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to city hall to pay for a parking ticket. After returning to my truck, I found a parking ticket on my window. FML

#19935840
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (23454)

On 07/14/2012 at 2:55am - money - by journeytotheend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (1628)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15672) - you deserved it (4643)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

#20006151
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19118) - you deserved it (1917)

On 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm - money - by for fucks sake gramps (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6544) - you deserved it (24779)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (2118)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34328) - you deserved it (5379)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

#19884890
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8716) - you deserved it (25607)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:33am - kids - by ew (woman) - United States (Texas)



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