Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (7169)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (14711)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (9740)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (2531)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (2460)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (3341)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (8098)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (3542)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML

#21429410
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (2067)

On 06/21/2015 at 6:16am - love - by bev_rogan - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: