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Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (3872)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40207) - you deserved it (4593)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20684) - you deserved it (56063)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

#5181151
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (38643)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by 0ptimu5 (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

#2984203
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (5430)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by coco (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was painting the garage door. After 3 hours, I finally finished the job. As I was walking back inside, accidentally pressed the button that opens and closes the garage door. Not only did the paint job get messed up as it went up, the paint also dripped onto my parents brand new car. FML

#2735407
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35860) - you deserved it (22713)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13096) - you deserved it (43622)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML

#430681
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74190) - you deserved it (3837)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:07am - work - by germx (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65896) - you deserved it (15618)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to my new dentist and before he started looking at my teeth, I told him my previous dentist had never found a single thing wrong with my teeth. After looking around, he chuckled humourlessly and called my last dentist idiotic. I now have a $580 bill and a root canal next week. FML

#1143838
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (4826)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:20am - health - by Novocain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (7161)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49060) - you deserved it (14539)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (2626)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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