Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (56562)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

#3269585
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47110) - you deserved it (5164)

On 06/27/2009 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's a laundry chute that goes down to the basement. I looked through the chute to see if the bathroom light was on. A pair of shitty underpants came down and landed in my face. They were my grandma's. FML

#3078532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (11597)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by yuck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (58494)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (43675)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, on the train home, two drunk guys decided to sit next to me and make casual conversation. This was fine until one decided to take a drink from his beer. While he did, he sneezed in my face. I still smell like beer. FML

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

#1780717
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11495) - you deserved it (53925)

On 05/09/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by ugheffmylife - United States (California)

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14176) - you deserved it (49738)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44973) - you deserved it (8183)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML

#94421
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7932) - you deserved it (44995)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

#196534
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48027) - you deserved it (17438)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

#279633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57750) - you deserved it (25390)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:01am - work - by Jobless (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59133) - you deserved it (16217)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: