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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

#12183114
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (8895)

On 07/29/2010 at 6:56am - misc - by Andre - United States (Indiana)

Today, the sprinklers in the hotel room came on and stayed on. There was no fire. My family is currently living in the hotel, so everything we own is soaked. FML

#12410355
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (2715)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (35283)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I blared my music while I got ready for a night out. Getting really into this one song, I grabbed onto the nearest thing as a makeshift microphone. It happened to be the hot end of my curling iron. FML

#13998989
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9469) - you deserved it (38806)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders)

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (7241)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

#14061487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (2657)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

#14189532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (23897)

On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (2766)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

#14635663
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/19/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Lebanon

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

#12418259
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14543) - you deserved it (24094)

On 08/09/2010 at 8:33pm - misc - by mitsuko045 (woman) - Ireland (Mayo)

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

#10488066
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (2740)

On 05/12/2010 at 4:07pm - work - by ab1e - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (3786)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5305)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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