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Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (6311)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

#225993
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12809) - you deserved it (40906)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working at a certain California theme park in full costume, I was approached by a kid in line, who looked at me and exclaimed, "Hey look, its Indiana Jones!" which felt pretty amazing. His sister, who was maybe seven years old, glanced over at me and said, "No, he's way too fat." FML

#2395942
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36073) - you deserved it (4347)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:20am - work - by paperbagofdoom (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

#2183304
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40311) - you deserved it (5328)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3018)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (11042)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (7357)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37425) - you deserved it (5591)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

#254366
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38909) - you deserved it (4701)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

#266744
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (11500)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

#465051
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65448) - you deserved it (6778)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ineverknew (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

#902555
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43224) - you deserved it (2067)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)

Today, my serious boyfriend was talking about how he wants to get engaged and married. I was really happy until he said he's excited mainly for the tax benefits. FML

#1493451
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45437) - you deserved it (3656)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)



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