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Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (4058)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (4197)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

#19756804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (1871)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3045)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

#19790589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (2379)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by Rose (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

#19892376
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (5065)

On 07/04/2012 at 8:50pm - money - by jenjam (woman) -

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18525) - you deserved it (1845)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (2304)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

#20135226
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (1782)

On 10/27/2012 at 7:53am - misc - by Ohwhy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

#20105161
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (4518)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)



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