Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML

#6491389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10092) - you deserved it (47331)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by NickC - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

#6493003
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6896) - you deserved it (53477)

On 11/28/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by MegGRRRz (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13532) - you deserved it (29033)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (13086)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (5088)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (3730)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

#7273042
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (4112)

On 01/11/2010 at 2:20am - money - by Pauper (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

#7445889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (2149)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

#7406079
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you deserved it (20447)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (13960)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: