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Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

by queenofdeath / 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my job because I was doing my work too quickly, getting too much done and the supervisor was afraid I was bored. I have only been here for 3 weeks and already had the best stats on the team. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 9:33pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML

by aurorason / 02/06/2010 at 1:25am / Health

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

by Oze / 02/18/2010 at 4:48am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

by nd.11 / 03/01/2010 at 11:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:20am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

by AtikaSucks / 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm / Tunisia / Miscellaneous

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

by Brinty / 03/13/2010 at 12:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

by bad boyfriend / 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

by notyouraverageteenager / 06/10/2010 at 3:06am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 8:11am / Japan / Health

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

by ~JESSICA~ / 09/11/2010 at 2:19am / United States / Transportation