Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (28989)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (2964)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10396) - you deserved it (35206)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (2984)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

#13886918
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (7233)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20161) - you deserved it (3450)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (2623)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (32776)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (3914)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

#14450604
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (4015)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm - misc - by insultedguy (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (5574)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

#17630821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (1703)

On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: