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Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (14670)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2068)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (3335)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (8384)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6297) - you deserved it (33381)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9617) - you deserved it (41142)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45642) - you deserved it (3558)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (2878)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93815) - you deserved it (5146)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML

#21094
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (11108)

On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (13509)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60410) - you deserved it (10554)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (65438)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)



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