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Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

#1625759
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48721) - you deserved it (7577)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:19pm - misc - by JulieKid (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65452) - you deserved it (3230)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

#2071358
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49691) - you deserved it (3122)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (12231)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I checked my bank balance, to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in, and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So, being honest, I told my boss about this. Turns out, I wasn't overpaid by £500, I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. FML

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month she decided to change her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in the relationship with. FML

#4533889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51235) - you deserved it (5341)

On 08/14/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by waitthatsnotme (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

#5119886
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (14903)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:42am - kids - by GhettoBeast (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

#5442113
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10875) - you deserved it (42377)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

#4363957
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (23488)

On 08/07/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by terpity12 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

#5228035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49115) - you deserved it (2320)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

#5769325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2836)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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