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Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33992) - you deserved it (11845)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (3996)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

#21093159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (3554)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (7198)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

#21098667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (4331)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by :( (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (4235)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (5231)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (4383)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (6090)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (18445)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (3504)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)



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