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Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

by noononononono / 12/21/2015 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

by believe me now?? / 01/22/2016 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love

Today, while I was working replacing a windshield, some jerk off hit my truck. A truck carrying 2 grand in glass. Including the windshield I was about to install. The driver gets out and says, "Sorry man, I had to text my girlfriend." FML

by automotive glass tech / 01/21/2016 at 1:09pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

by 1meme129 / 02/24/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML

by Tiny_Nerd / 03/08/2016 at 10:00am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML

by fresh single / 04/03/2016 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

by piss off / 04/08/2016 at 6:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my old boss stiffed me on a large sum of money he owes me. I tried to contact him and point out that he legally owes me the money, but he won't answer his texts or his phone, and the managers say he changes the subject whenever they bring it up. FML

by Stiffed / 04/07/2016 at 5:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

by welcome to the neighborhood / 04/28/2016 at 7:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

by send the army please / 05/02/2016 at 2:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML

by JustTheWife / 05/12/2016 at 1:24pm / Denmark / Love