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Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML

#2403951
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (2949)

On 05/29/2009 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

#5413535
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (2093)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by unemployed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

#4926157
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:58am - misc - by hihipanda (man) - Singapore

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

#4905255
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (3906)

On 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm - health - by mommy_issues (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#4481809
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/12/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by NoticeTheLackOfNumbers (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (5170)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

#5825697
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23591) - you deserved it (1682)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:20am - misc - by flipraff101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (2502)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club with my friends. I noticed the bouncer looked at me strangely. Then he erupts and screams, "you're the bitch who caused havoc and £255 damage to the cloakroom, pay up or I'll call the fuzz!" Little did I know my 15-year-old sister stole my ID last weekend. FML

#5468497
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35771) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

#5905706
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (8450)

On 10/19/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13896) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

#5007844
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (7049)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by lifeguardfuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

#5812873
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/13/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by sillystring (man) - China (Beijing)



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